TESTIMONY
 |
A little backstory: My family lives in California and basically I, live here in the Philippines in this home four walls and a door well atleast I'm trying to make it a home for myself. But I can't. And the only human who kept me in my despair was gone.
I pushed him away.
Because that's what I'm good at. I push people away. Away from me.
With all this, I felt heavy and I don't have someone to talk to. I can't talk to my parents or brothers cause I don't want them to worry about me. Same thing with the guy I pushed away. Why? because I broke up with him 4 days before our 5th anniversary. If I only have someone to talk to. Who will not put judgement on every actions I did. Who will listen to all my anxiety in life.
Now back to reality: It's been a year since the last time I go to church, oh wait I think it was since my brother left me for USA, I used to go to church with him but since he's not here I don't go anymore. I wanted too but anxiety attacks me.
Today is Sunday(Yes I update you guys on Sunday), and I woke up pretty late because who would want to wake up early with all this feeling? As I start my usual day, I opened my laptop and open my music app. And start my music sesh with some praising songs, I told to myself atleast 5 praising songs.
I was singing the first song I've chosen Mighty to save by Jeremy Camp, I don't know what happened to me but while I was singing it flashback the days when me and my brother used to go to church, holding back my tears and stopped myself from singing until the song ended.
2nd song was Lead me to the cross by Hillsong United, again I sang the song with all my heart this time I can't hold back the tears anymore, I allowed myself to cry. It's like he was saying I'm with you, you can talk to me. I cried my heart out and pray, I knew in that moment he's the only one who can mend my broken heart. I asked Lord to hug me, I badly need one. I cried until I felt better and much lighter.
So for you who's feeling the same thing I'm going through right now, always remember that GOD is always with you, cast your burden unto him for he will never leave you and forsake you.
Blessed Sunday to everyone.
0 comments