Susubukan ko muling magsulat,
ang malunod sa mga salitang
minsa'y naging daan upang
panandaliang makalimot
sa pait ng kahapon.


Susubukan ko muling sumulat
gamit ang mga plumang
naipon sa garapon,
ang mga papel na niluma na ng panahon.


Muli kong bubuhayin ang mga boses
na waring nagtatalo sa kung ano mang letra ang ilalapat
sa aking lumang-bagong papel.


Minsan ko ng kinalimutan ang maligaw
sa agos ng mga ideyang na isa-isa ibinabato ng mga tinig sa isip ko.
Unti-unti kong kinalimutan ang mga simpleng bagay
na nakakapagpasaya sa puso ko.


Dahan dahan nawala.


Dahan dahan nalumbay.


Hanggang sa hindi ko na kilala kung sino itong babae sa salamin.
"Ako ba ito o ibang tao?"
Alam kong hindi sya masaya.
Alam kong hirap na hirap na sya.
Kailangan nya ng kausap.
Kailangan na nyang bumangon sa matagal na pagpapahinga.


Muling mangangarap.


Muling susubok.

Knife. Blade. Rope
"It's not painful, do it" my mind said.

Knife. Blade. Rope
"Everything is gonna be alright, do it" my heart said.

Knife. Blade. Rope
I'm sad, no scratch that I'm beyond sad. Depress I guess?

Knife. Blade. Rope
I feel shallow,  I feel empty.

Knife. Blade. Rope
I was laughing but underneath that is me, screaming for help.

Knife. Blade. Rope
I talked to people but none of them cared. Everybody has own burden to carry and mine was needed to carried alone.

Knife. Blade. Rope

And it all ended here-

i. Learn to say NO. I had to realized it late that not every opportunity needs to be taken specially if you are not comfortable doing it nor you are not happy. No I can't do this. No, I don't like. No, I don't need to explain why I'm saying No to you.

ii. People will throw shade on you. You cannot please everybody indeed but never let these people define or affect who you really are.

iii. Never settle for less. I know it was scary but trust me you can do it.

iv. Not everything you love will love you back, *hello crush life* I know it sucks but that doesn't mean that you are not lovable it only means that God is still preparing something better, you just have to wait.

v. Leave the past behind. Do not let the pain and hurt to take over. Never allow the demons of yesterday to destroy the beauty you have today. Never close your door because you've been broken before instead use that as your motivation.

vi. Avoid toxic people. If you are in a relationship or friendship and you find yourself spending more time on crying out of sadness or arguing with them, leave them. Toxic people are dangerous look for someone who will laugh out loud with you.

vii. Love yourself. That is so important. Love your birthmark, the shape of your face, the color of your skin, the nose that you think is flat. Learn to love yourself at 3AM when all you can think is scary monsters hiding underneath your bed or at 7AM when you wake up cranky. Learn to love yourself because you are you and you will never change.